We all have an identity. I for example am a White male, computer geek, football player, poem writing person, who happens to be heterosexual. My sexuality is not important to me because it should not be important to anyone else.
What really annoys me is when people use their sexuality as their identity. I had this friend who is a Lesbian. A very smart, beautiful young woman who was so much more, than just the person who was just attracted to other women. I however read her wrong. After a while i realized that she was very proud of being a lesbian, to the point of joining lesbian clubs and groups in her free time. She was a lesbian first and foremost, who happened to be smart and beautiful. This was sad to me because she was so much more. Not saying that being a lesbian is a bad thing, i just think it's bad to focus on something everyone else has to ignore. We can not treat gay and lesbian people differently than anyone else, because their sexuality isn't really our business. This is fine with me, but how do you treat someone who puts such pride into who they are attracted to? Do you go, " Hey, here comes the lesbian girl, i like her because she's a lesbian, beyond that shes a nice person, who is beautiful and intelligent.
If all homosexual people felt like her, it would not take long before we got whole areas of cities where only gay people lived. They wouldn't mingle with us heterosexuals, because we where not part of their little world.
To me sexuality should not be something to focus on. We should focus on what a person is like and what attributes that person possessed. In my mind, sexuality should not even be a subject, just as race or religion should not be. If we start to focus to much on these things, society will become fragmented, with focus on people being different.
Conclusion: Be different by being a good person, by being the best or by being funny. Be different by your attributes not by something as artificial as race, color or creed.
I know my views are colored by my socialist ideology. I don't like people who are different because they are rich, being rich doesn't make for a better person. Having a Ferrari doesn't make you a better person.
Be a nice, smart and beautiful person, who happens to be a homosexual. Not the other way around.
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I totally agree with you on this discourse! Unfortunately if you`ve noticed.. not the heterosexual people make an identity from their sexual orientation...but lesbians or gays... it`s a sort of a shield that protects them...because they know...are different..and somehow excluded from a category ... so they create a different category ... to exclude us .. "the hetero ones" from theirs ..so therefore .. they shouldn`t feel excluded anymore:)
SvarSletThe zoom is wrong... is too much focused on religious,sexual,race differences .. than on thigs that should bind us together...create bridges... we should much more appreciate someone`s individuality..like character and personality..not the group he belongs to .. so yes.. you`re right here!:) that would make nice debate
I disagree somewhat to what has been said before. Think your focus is too narrow to see a bigger issue here, something that has its origins in how our society has worked and how any social group works no matter the species. Probably here are some exceptions, but lets ignore them for the moment.
SvarSletWhat i am talking about is the innate attribute of a society to resist change and to its extreme, to outcast something/someone different from its accepted norms.
Here you can take as example probably most of the great minds of our past, which in their time have been ostracized, ridiculed and reduced, in some cases, to ashes.
To this we have adapted by forming groups and supporting each-other if we are in any way, shape or form different from most of the people around us. Living in our time, where the access to information and each-other is easy, allows much more than in the past for this tendency to form groups and 'be different'.
I do not think is right to take offense to someone as the person you describe, as that might be the only way in which she can stay sane or at least have the feeling of belonging to the society.
I do agree that in general we focus too much on differences, but not in the way the previous comment pointed. In a way is contradictory what you has said, "[...]we should much more appreciate someone's individuality[...] is too much focus on religious,sexual,race differences [...]", as ones beliefs, sexual preferences or what he/she likes in life are part of our individuality by their mere random combination in each of us. So, in a way the group we belong to is a small part of the individuality puzzle we are.
I hold the belief that we are not going to survive for too long if we do not learn to focus on what we have in common and stop putting so much emphasis on what is different between us. Let me put it this way: what we have in common is the body of the cake while the differences is the cherry on top of it. Sure we can enjoy the cherry, but what would it be without all the delicious stuff underneath.
How you should treat such a person, that focuses on her/his characteristic that you think is of least importance in his/her character?
I would judge case by case, but in yours, get over it! Focus on her other attributes, like... I don't know, boobs? :D Unless this aspect of her shadows everything else to the point that you can not have a conversation with her without it interfering think you can still have a good chance of having a stimulating relationship. And even bad relations can teach you things, not only about people around you but about yourself.
As a closure, man I wish I had a lesbian friend, things I could talk with her, like explanations of things that keep bouncing inside my skull.